If you love me let me go?
Maybe it should have been if you love me let me go… I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, I have no idea whether when I wake up tomorrow morning he will want be back or ask me to take a hike! All the points me made, all the comments said, in my head made sense, we are slowly unintentionally destroying each other… So what changed, when did he stop listening to his own advice, the same advice breaking my heart not 48 hours ago? Why have we suddenly become worth saving in his opinion?
I never meant to fall in love and however hard it is to break that bond, deny myself my own life source I don’t want to have to keep doing this. The make-up’s and break-up’s, the ups and downs! I can’t do them anymore, I want a final decision and I need to feel confident I’m making the right one for myself, I may only be 20 but if I’m doing this relationship sitch I’m doing it properly, conventual! Yesterday killed, today hurt and who knows what tomorrow will bring, if we come to that final decision I don’t think either of us want to hear I’m not looking forward to the repercussions, however we both need to believe what we decide will be for the best in the long run. This time it’s for real and there’s no going back… We both need to believe in the changes we decide need to be implemented.
Is love really powerful enough to beat all odd’s? To defeat reality and create an alternative dimension where two people with such similar character traits can live harmoniously? Can I trust against my instincts, can he let go against his own? I don’t have the answers on my own and I still have little faith we’ll even get to the point where we both do… Knowing his current attention span it’s not looking hopeful!
Today has been a better day, I’ve eaten for a start but Im pretrified I’m just luring myself into a false sense of security… That this story won’t have the happy ending I desire.