Some times things need to be talked through, to move forward you have to face what is holding you back. Some things can be discussed endlessly, until every word in the Oxford English dictionary has been said, yet a resolution is no where in sight. Words are just words on their own, for them to mean anything there has to be sincerity behind the syllables, it’s the genuine emotion behind them that impact the situation not the definition assigned.
One should not have to say “I love you”, actions should say it for them? Right? Yet we all want to hear those words,8 letters don’t offer you comfort and warmth- they are just a mixture of vowels and consonants, it’s the person uttering them the provide that, they do offer memorable security.
Ray J once wanted “One Wish”, however his “One Wish” soon turned into several, is it possible today to only wish for one thing? I wish I had everything now… The relationship, the perfectly presented show-home flat, the puppy and the happiness… As each day moves forward I feel I’m going backwards, desire increases, thoughts spiral and the only sense of the situation I’m able to make is on this computer screen. If a dream has the opportunity to become reality with hard work, sacrifice and co-operation is it really a dream?
When people’s lives move on and your left standing in the same place they left you…
You’d think I was new to the dating scene with all the recent drama, first break-up, first love triangle, first mistake of the heart, first love… Looking back I should be used to destroying everything that’s ever meant something to me by now… I should have learnt to switch off, reject emotion… I often think immunity to feelings would be a useful tool to possess.
Speaking of the dating game, I think I have somehow managed to acquire a date next Monday… One I don’t really want if I’m honest, I’ve known the guy for years and we only began speaking again as I needed some attention, strange, sudden bursts of loneliness result in reaching out to people I would otherwise probably ignore. A bit short, blonde and averagely attractive, slightly boring from what I remember but it’s not his personality nor looks I’m wary of nearing. The dating scene to me seems completely alien to me now, the thought of struggling for conversation when I have felt so comfortable with those close to me in the past seems ludicrous. The thought of even spending time with someone else seems wrong… Ironically my principles and morals decide to kick into action when I’m alone!