Madness in the Mind

Confusion- a mental state characterized by a lack of clear and orderly thought and behavior.
When your mind enters a state of confusion if begins running through the situation or circumstance which has caused such an unclear point of view, I find the more I process a thought which has caused distraction from normality the deeper I sink into the unknown. vicious cycle when you consider your actions.
I have found myself questioning an abnormal amount of things lately, the most insignificant sentence, delays of contact, strange times of the morning. Im questioning things that really have nothing to do with me.
Is it bad I desperately want to start a new, is it even worse I have begun comparing the situation I find myself in with possibly the two most influential partners of my past? The two people I regret the most? In an ideal world some ridiculously good-looking man will appear as if by magic and give me everything I need to start a new relationship, slowly! So I can maybe not screw up and behave like a responsible adult when considering the future. 
When we’re trying to adapt to change we can forget to look at things from another’s point of view. I admit I’m absorbed with my own emotions, it was only today I stopped to think whether I was causing any problems, conflicting interests or any other issues… I’ve caused enough problems for people in the past, last thing I want to do now is continue.
In all honesty I’m ridiculously tired and rambling like a crazy person, I just feel so unsettled and out of control. I wish I knew what ran through people’s minds, could feel what they feel so I could understand my own feelings. Before I drive myself ridiculously insane I’m going to sleep! Night .xo