Welcome to the lonely hearts club
My own dramatic lifestyle you’ve all read about over the previous few months seems to be adopted from that of my Mother’s, see once upon a time she used to appear sane, but I now believe that was all an act… Deep down I think she’s always been a bit tapped! She blames men, I can understand why- my father was what could be described as a serial cheater the rest haven’t brought much luck her way either.
We are not the only one in the family that has a terrible track record with men, in fact when looking at all my closest female relatives previous partnerships it seems there’s a not so happy ever after trend appearing.
My Mother’s tales of the heart have left me questioning whether all single men in their middle to late thirties all think and behave in the same manner, they seem to be terrified of commitment, immature, indecisive head fucks. Not that I’m searching for one myself, but it is a tiresome task continuously pointing out where she is going oh so wrong in an attempt to catch one of the, in my opinion- insignificant males she‘s forever in contact with.
Mummy dearest is one of those crazy ladies who refuses to be ignored, now don’t get me wrong no female enjoys some silly little man hindering they’re plan to trap them into whatever form of relationship their after, but this woman takes it to the extreme. There was this guy, A, whom she saw a few times and spoke to a ridiculous amount- but he had baggage, I’m talking 3 month’s holiday worth not an overnight stay! An ex-wife, two kids and a new one and off borderline alcoholic, not to mention violent Mrs, in other words it wasn’t difficult to see from the start he had next to no room left for another over expectant female in his life. So he popped up now and again when things weren’t looking so rosy to give my naïve mother some false hope and them disappear again for weeks at a time… During this period she’s basically having a conversation with herself with maybe 3-4 text messages per week, mainly just offering simple updates of her day-to-day life… consistent yes, insane maybe?! This has been a pattern that’s translated itself from man to man to man. All of them with equal amount of issues yet similarly all of them still hanging around in the background. I have expressed several times that this behaviour may seem a little strange and extreme to, well all men, but it seems she’s incapable to self-control! In fairness she does seem to be learning, but it’s a slow process and may take a few more of the opposite sex deserting at the first sight of crazy before the message truly sinks in.
I suppose the concerns such behaviour is raising are the impression that this is not abnormal behaviour for a 40 something, single female. It isn’t as if she’s looking to settle down and get a ring on her finger pronto, just to have someone there when needed I suppose. It seems as the older women get the more demanding and assertive in what they want and expect they become, where as the older men get the more irresponsible and unpredictable. All I can hope is I’m happily settled before my mid-life crisis kicks in!
It will probably come as no surprise in the new year she’s going to venture out into the big wide world of online dating. A sector one ridiculed and condemned for those with a long term membership to the lonely hearts club has now become the norm amongst all ages, the biggest reason given for joining an online dating website is time constraints in everyday life – work, children, and obligations limit people’s ability to meet potential partners by conventional means. In layman’s terms it seems these days we’re all too busy for love! In 2010 the online dating industry was worth $4 billion worldwide, with 17% of couples who married having me online, yet the average courtship for a couple who have met over the internet is 18.5 months, compared to 42 months for couples meeting by traditional means. This to me sums it all up, regardless of where you meet that one partner for life tradition, followed religiously for so many years just does not fit modern society. Women are too independent to chain themselves to a man they doubt is their prince charming while men continue to believe if they put a small amount of time and energy into their so-called equally balanced relationship they will receive over double back! It all comes down to that all important cynical view I seem to have adopted lately- life get’s in the way of love and practicalities ruin happiness!
-Diary or an online dater will be featuring on the blog early next year!