I’ll drink to that

Sometimes you just have to man up and make a decision, what kind of life is one leading if they are continuously in two minds? Questioning everything you do, every word you say in fear it could decipher something you didn’t voluntarily offer to agree. You cannot live your life for everybody else, equally you cannot live your life solely for yourself.
unfortunately none of us have the ability to look into the future, we never know where the road we choose will take us and we will never know where the path we disregarded could have led… That is life, not just for me but for everybody, it is a continuous fact that is relevant to all major decisions we will ever make and the sooner it is accepted the easier these situations will become, the less these problems will consume you.
Choose with no regret, sometimes I wish I could follow the phrase inked on my hip a little more religiously. I regret my actions before I have even committed to them, doubt them instantly and fear the outcome severely. But one cannot live their life in fear of moving forward, we cannot be in control of every life altering occurence, but we can control the part we play in them.
The decision was made a while ago, I was just living in fear of accepting what my actions had already condemned me to. Going cold turkey will never be easy but it’s what must be done to salvage the pieces left of the entire situation. Leaving the past, more importantly the people in my past behind will always hurt, but the more you think of it, the more tears that role down your cheeks the less time you have to enjoy what’s left, the less time you have to appreciate life.
If I could turn back time there are things I may have done differently, I could have easily salvaged my relationship with G by one simple action-  I guess I have learnt from that mistake, subconsciously there must have been a reason why I couldn’t let go of M. There comes a point in everyone’s life when you have to stop preventing something that could be really great for you from happening due to fear, uncertainty and over thinking. I have no one but myself to blame for the breakdown of my relationship and I don’t want to have to go through this for a fourth time…
I will never forget you… But it’s time I tried.
Looking forward, I’ll drink to that §
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