The break-up

It hurts when things don’t work out the way you once expected them to. It hurts when you feel like you’ve failed, when questions continue to circle your mind asking if your opted for the right decision. It hurts when you listen to Adelle wondering if in a year’stime you will be in the same position because you didn’t fight for what you had, if at the time you  didn’t appreciate what you would lose… Maybe if you had the decision-making process would have been more thorough!
Decisions are made everyday in life by every one of us, some unimportant and irrelevant to our future, others have the ability to shape our lives considerably. Some decisions can decipher your ability to be happy, some can change the person you are…
This is why I am such an indecisive person, I’m petrified of failure,what if one of my decisions leads to future unhappiness, what if I make a mistake because at that one point in time I thought the alternative would benefit me more? I would have failed, no one else, the blame would be solely my own. I feel my life is consistently stuck in limbo because I am so worked up about all the possibilities that may occur in the future I limit myself from living in the present.
Me and Gavin split up yesterday, even the thought tightens by stomach. So why commit to such a decision if there is still so much doubt swimming around my mind? Unfortunately sometimes life gets in the way of love, it just got to hard to make things work… I guess old Danni came back, god forbid I settle into a seemingly happy relationship, no I have to pick fault and rip it apart before it truly had time to grow…
You can never be certain the choices you make in life are the right ones, but once made we have no choice to live with them. They were made for a reason and regret won’t change the past nor shape ones future. You just have to hope that one day you will be able to look back and understand why that decision was made and how in the long run it held a significant place in your life.
Sad Smudge
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