“I’m surprised you work actually, people with your lifestyle usually don’t!”
This was said to me yesterday and literally left me speechless! My lifestyle? And what exactly is my lifestyle?
So I’m nearly 20, I don’t hide the fact I’ve been promiscuous in the past, apparently 5 serious relationships by the age of 19 is a lot so I concealed the magic number of men who’ve seen my bedroom! I know people judge me, the way I look, my personality, my past make me an easy target for hypocritical individuals looking to voice their uninformed opinions. Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to play the victim here, I know all this yet I remain myself- Other people can say what they please behind my back and to my face, if they choose to believe I’m a common, dumb slag then so be it. I know who I am and what I’m capable of, it makes succeeding so much more rewarding, the look of sheer bewilderment when it occurs is priceless.
But this one comment did stump me, it left me thinking, you see to me my actions are normal, the people in my social circle all behave in the same manner… Compared to some I could even be considered reserved these days! Maybe we’re all abnormal, maybe we all lead such ‘lifestyles’ where if I was the usual stereotype I would be living in a council paid apartment and signing on every Wednesday, unwilling to lift a finger in order to support myself! I think the reason I was so shocked by the above statement is because I have never associated my attitude towards sex and relationships with any other factors in my life. I am intelligent (lack a certain amount of common sense but regardless), I am definitely ambitious, take an interest in world affairs, and know the difference between right and wrong. Yet because I could be considered to have slept around in the past a few too many times, people expect me to be none of those, apparently being promiscuous instantly makes you a complete CHAV?!
It made me wonder if I’m as judgemental, do I believe everyone conforms to a certain stereotype? Everyone to a certain extent is built to criticize, to expect the worse, but in all honestly I don’t believe I’m as bad as this particular individual. I’ve learnt to become open-minded, I accept everyone, if they are willing to look past my exterior and get to know what I’m about I have no problem with reciprocating that behaviour which is why I find if mildly offensive when people think my character is so 2 dimensional, they hear my stories, see my appearance and expect nothing more. I don’t consider someone’s past their maker, people change… gradually be it but regardless we all adapt and grow. The person I was even 18 months ago is nothing like the individual I am now so I don’t think it’s fair to take what you’ve heard about my past as gospal!