Back to reality
So I retreated to my Mother’s for the most part of this week to try to clear my head, as to be honest last week I was a bit of an emotional wreck! I don’t think I’ve come to any major conclusions about my life but I am definitely a lot calmer at the moment. Saying that I still have this strange uncertainty and emptiness, yet I have no idea why, or what’s the route cause of it.
Work’s been a bit of a nightmare lately, as I feel stuck in my role and in two minds about what to do about it, I felt that way in my last position and ran, if I do the same I’ll end up back at square one. persistance and patience is what I need, however neither are specialties! I have also decided that I’m moving back home, to my actual old home (well I didn’t have much choice in the decision to be honest), can’t say I’m buzzing for it but what other choice do I have when there’s no chance I could afford to live on my own on my current salary. Mum’s decided it would be a good idea to see how it works for a few months before we look elsewhere, which I completely understand as I know she does love the place she’s currently in, and it is conveniently situated. I just may end up killing her before the 3 months is up!
I’m currently seeing G, who is still having major trust issues, which I can comprehend due to my behaviour in the past, but his emotionally reserved attitude is causing me to be paranoid myself- jealous Danni is not great! Unfortunately at the moment I seem to be stuck in a cycle of men, mainly because I care for all 3 of them and don’t have the ability to just forget two and leave myself with one option… It’s hard cutting yourself off from people you have feelings for, and consistently wondering what if! But I’ve made my decision and I’m persevering though the doubt so I can attempt to stabilize my crazy love life.
Besides those three situations everything else seems to be fine, so my mood for the moment? Just a bit blargh! ♥