Ground control to Major Tom

At 19 I rarely delve into my past to attempt work out how it has an effect of my present feelings, In some respects there’s not much depth to my character- It’s very this is how I feel right now, and this is the reason why, regardless of the acknowledgement that the reaction I feel is way over the top to just be related to that one problem.
People say money can’t buy you happiness, but without half the financial problems I seem to consistently face and the economic freedom I would acquire I could guarantee my mood would instantly lift. Retail brings me relief, if I had an unlimited supply of funds whenever something was bothering me shopping could resolve it. Does this make me materialistic and shallow? On the surface yes, and probably a little self-obsessed too!  See I’m not a fan of sharing, I call it only child sydrome- I don’t share food, I don’t share possessions, I don’t share people and I certainly don’t share feelings! I’m a bottler, I keep everything inside of me until I explode, I’ll shout or cry and 9 times out of 10 the person on the receiving end doesn’t deserve the full brunt of my dramatic release- but it’s just how I’ve adapted from past experiences. Tell someone how you feel and you automatically become vulnerable to their emotional manipulation. They have the most powerful advantage in a unestablished control struggle.
I’ve mentioned control before, I’m starting to think I’m obsessed and it would answer a few behavioral defects of mine! Is it just me that this is so important to? Or does everyone endure the initial unbalance? 
“Scorpio’s stubbornly cling to emotional attachments. They rarely forget or forgive emotional rejection. They have to learn that jealousy and possessiveness are self-defeating… No other sign has the emotional strength of a Scorpio” So to summarize Scorpio’s are the most unstable of the zodiac with a tendency to behave irrationally, oh and if you piss them off they’ll fuck you over! This explains a lot! Boom
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