Dear Old Nicki
This song makes me miss the old me, throughout life we all go through phases of change, and it’s usually after a seemingly important incident that this happens… The thought that one individual could shape who you are for the forseeable future scares me. I like to pretend that I am the sole controller of my own life, even though I tend to believe that ‘everything happens for a reason’ to soften the blow of most misfortune, overall it’s nice to undertake a mindset where I believe I’m the sole decision maker of my actions. But realistically we’re not- the environment, circumstances and other individuals can all influence us, and convince us that the best action to proceed with is that against out own better judgement.
How many people can say that throughout life they have never stabbed themselves in the back to get ahead? Gone against their morals or ideas to place themselves in a better position in society, or lied to dig themselves out of a hole their mistakes may have landed them in? Somewhere along the line we all forget who we are sometimes, temptation has a habit of leading us astray. Honestly can anyone really blame Eve for trying that apple?
Sometimes I look back and remember the friends I’ve lost along the way, the past few years have been turbulent, the reason for such losses is because consequently we’ve drifted apart- our worlds just didn’t collide anymore. I like to believe that as I grow older the changes will be less significant, eventually I’ll know enough to not have to adapt after every life lesson. People just seem to acquire sports cars or toy boys when the mid-life crisis hits to avoid any soul searching, and to be honest I don’t bloody blame them!
It’s been emotional! Boom ♥