Case of the ex

This has been playing on my mind for a while now, and thoughts swimming round my head are still no clearer...
There’s this guy, lets call him S. I’ve been seeing S on and off for around 10 months, its only been the last month that he seems to have been taking our relationship seriously… Now I used to moan at him for this, back in the day I thought it was his commitment that I wanted, the whole couple thing- yet I was still seeing and sleeping with other people. Which leads me on to G. Now I’ve known G for around 4 months and things where never supposed to get serious, but they did and for a period of time I was happy- he made me happy, but then thoughts of Stuart crept back and I convinced myself, not for the first time, that I could really only be happy when I was with him. So I fucked G over, freaked out and despite his best efforts left him for dead (metaphorically speaking before the police are called… I can confirm G is still alive and well!)
Lovely bit of background there but the reason I’m sitting in bed, slightly frustrated at 11.00pm is because, now I have the option to have S, yet I’m still paying away- and with all people I’m playing away with G. Why? Because his acting like his not fussed, he can have me_ fine; he can’t_ oh well! His attitude drives me insane, I feel confused, rejected and bitter. Not to mention jealous of any female to dare text his phone! The thing that’s bothering me is can I really like S as much as I think I do, if I am still willing to jeopardize it all for sex with an ex? Do I want G or do I just want him to want me? I’d like to think I’ll come to a conclusion soon, however I doubt it* Decisions have never been my forte!
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